Collection of My Favourite Forwarded Mails

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. -- Frank Outlaw

The Cocoon A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. So the man decided to help the butterfly, he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get thr...

God created the donkey and said to him. "You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years." The donkey answered: "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years" God granted his wish. ***** God created the dog and said to him: "You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years. You will be a dog. " The dog answered: "Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years." God granted his wish. ***** God created the monkey and said to him: "You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. " The monkey answered: "To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years." God granted his wish. ***** Finally God created man ... an...

* To fall in love. * To laugh until your stomach hurts. * To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation. * To go for a vacation to some pretty place. * To listen to your favorite song in the radio. * To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside. * To leave the shower and find that the towel is warm. * To clear your last exam. * To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to. * To find money in the pocket of a dress that you haven't used since last year . * To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.:))) * Calls at midnight that last for hours.:)) * To laugh without a reason. * To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you. * To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours. * To hear a song that makes you remember a special person. * To be part of a team. * To watch the sunset from the hill top. * To make new friends. * To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that pe...

# Chandrababuism : You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad. # Jayalalithaism : You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet. # Karunanidhiism : You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew. # Gandhism : You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk. # Indiraism : You have two bulls.. You adamantly consider them as cows. # Lalooism : You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them. # Rajnikantism : You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth. # Rajivism : You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk. --------------------------------------------- Softwarism:(Ultimate....) Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them 1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off) 2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan) 3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design) 4 . Th...

To make a woman happy......? A man only needs to be : 1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master 7. A chef 8. An electrician 9. A carpenter 10. A plumber 11. A mechanic 12. A decorator 13. A stylist 14. A sexologist 15. A gynecologist 16. A psychologist 17. A pest exterminator 18. A psychiatrist 19. A healer 20. A good listener 21. An organizer 22. A good father 23. Very clean 24. Sympathetic 25. Athletic 26. Warm 27. Attentive 28. Gallant 29. Intelligent 30. Funny 31. Creative 32. Tender 33. Strong 34. Understanding 35. Tolerant 36. Prudent 37. Ambitious 38. Capable 39. Courageous 40. Determined 41. True 42. Dependable 43. Passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 44. Give her compliments regularly 45. Love shopping 46. Be honest 47. Be very rich 48. Not stress her out 49. Not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself 52. Give her lot...

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish." The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish. His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!!!!"

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys of a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as Collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While...

For everything there is a season, And a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to throw away stones, And a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate, A time for war, and a time for peace.

Recently in The Times of India there was an article / advertisement about Pizza delivery Companies which guarantees you free pizza if they fail to deliver within the specified time (like 30 minutes). Have you ever wondered who pays for the free pizzas?? Well, the delivery boy is made to pay for the pizza. They are paid such low wages and the price of the pizza is deducted from their monthly wages which can amount to upto 60% in some months (It becomes difficult to run their family). To deliver the pizzas the delivery boys take high traffic risks as delivery becomes their priority. Their life and safety risks areneither looked into by the Pizza Shop Management nor the Pizza Delivery Boy himself. (They are more concerned to avoid the deduction from their salary). If this type of exploitation is carried on in your city's pizza logistics we should stop availing the home delivery system, because to deliver our pizza one person may be risking his life. Is the life of an Indian citizen so...

It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails, Because the year has an 'ONLY 365' days. Typical academic year for a student. 1. Sundays- 52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days. 2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days. 3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days. 4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days. Balance 126 days. 5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat)-means 30days. Balance 96 days. 6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days . Balance 81 days. 7. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days. 8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days. 9. For sickness at least 3

Father to daugther: "When you go back to your Mom tonight, give her this envelope and tell her that since you are now 18, this is the last check she`ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face." Daughter: "OK" Later that night Daughter: "Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since I`m now 18, this is the last child support payment he`ll ever have to make to you. Now I`m supposed to stand back and watch the expression on your face." Mother: "So that's the case? Do one thing, next time you visit your father, tell him that after 18 years I have decided to inform him that he`s not your father. Then, stand back and watch the expression on his face."

Aj Tak ka naya khulasa... Cricketers ki e-mail ID: 1.LAXMAN: available@home-only.com 2.GANGULY: nowdays@no_use.com 3.KUMBLE: only@test_match.com 4.SACHIN: admitted@hospital.com 5.KAIF: good@for_nothing.com 6.SEHWAG: consistently@out_of_form.com 7.DRAVID: stick@crease_like_fevicol.com 8.PATHAN: takewickets@only_with_kenya.com 9. GREG CHAPPELL only_experiment@noresult.com 10. Munaf Patel only_line&length@nospeed.com 11.Harbhajan Singh no_spinpitch@nowicket.com 12. Suresh Raina why_i_am_there@god_knows.com