Collection of My Favourite Forwarded Mails

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was ddressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyon...

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation. *** If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department. *** If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing. *** If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering. *** If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning. *** If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations. *** If they are sleeping. Put them in security. *** If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology. *** If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources. *** If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales. *** If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing. *** If they are staring out of the window. ...

An incident took place in Delhi - a young girl was raped by a man posing as a Police officer; he asked her to come to the police station when she and her male friend didn't have a driver's license to show. He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany him to the police station. Took her instead to an isolated area where the horrendous crime was committed. The law [which most are not aware of] clearly states that between 6 pm and 6 am, a woman has the right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her. It is a procedural issue that a woman can be arrested between 6 pm and 6 am, ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer and taken to an ALL WOMEN police station. And if she is arrested by a male officer, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of arrest. Please fwd this to as many girls you know.. Also to boys.. coz this can help them protect their wives, sisters and mothers. It is g...

Koi to hota? Jo meri khwaish main uth kar raaton ko khoob rota Dukhon ki chadar lapait kar hajoom duniya say door hota Main rooth jaata manata mujh ko kay chahe mera kasoor hota Koi to hota? Jo mujh ko dil ka karar kehta Ragoo ka apni fishar kehta Udaas mosam main tazgi ki biyar ban kar Jo meri bahoon ko arzoo ka diyar kehta Koi to hota? Dua say apni jo dukh bhi meray samait leta Woh iss jahan say ghamon ka meray hisab leta Woh sari duniya ki rafaqaton kay tamam rishtay Koi to hota? Main jis kay itna qareeb hota Na paas koi raqeeb hota Main tanha uss ka habbib hota Yeh silsila bhi ajeeb hota Koi to hota? KÄħH Koi to hota?

Year : 2030 Place : IBM, USA (Two Americans Talking) Currency Conversion Rate : INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100 Alex: Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office? John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping. Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict. John: Yeah, but I managed to get it. Alex: How long it took to get it stamped? John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. That's why it got delayed. I went there at 2 AM itself and waited and returned by 4 PM. Alex: Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA John: Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming. Alex: So, when are you leaving? John: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true. Alex: How long are you going ...

A 26-year old decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he told me he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but instantly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face, which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup ...

Ek tum kya mile jane kya ho gaya, Man hai khoya hua, ek nasha chha gaya. Dhadkano me chhupi ek aawaj hai, Is naye geet ka kaisa eh saz hai, Sans ki bhi bahut tej raftar hai, kuchh na aaye samjha kaisa eh raj hai, Zilmilata falak eh mahakti fiza, Gungunate bhramar sansanati hawa, Jane kano me tumne eh kya kah diya, Ab to dil ko sabhi kuchh hai lagata naya, Teri baten hai jaise koi shayari, Tumne sikhi kahan se eh jadugari, Eh tasawoor tera kitana hissas hai, Tu nahi hai magar lagta hai pass hai, Dil mera chain mera sabhi loot gaya, Aur dil ka makan jaise khali pada,!! Aur dil ka ............ ......... ......... .......!!

Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai........hahahaha

Har koi pyar ke liye tadapta hai, Har koi pyar ke liye rota hai, Mere pyar ko galat Na samajna, Pyar to dosti me bhi hota hai .. Phool bankar muskurana zindgi hai, Muskura ke gham bhulana zindgi hai, Jeet kar hum khush huye to kya hua, Haar kar khushiya manaana zindgi hai .. Shikwa unhe bhi bahot hai, Gila hume bhi kam nahin, Fark hai to sirf itna woh kehne se kabhi chukte nahin, Aur hum me kahne ka dum nahin .. Jawani ko jindagi ka nikhar kehte hain, Patjhad ko chaman ka majhdhar kehte hain, Ajeeb chalan hai duniya ka yaron, Ek dhoka hai jise sab pyar kehte hain .. Inn aankhon me aansoo aaye na hote , Agar wo pichee muskraye na hote , Unke jane ke baad yeh gham hota hai , Kashh wo zindagi me aaye na hote .. Shaam hote hi chiragon ko bujha deta hoon, Yeh dil hi kaafi hai teri yaad me jalne ke liye .. KAASH BANANE WALE NE SHISHE KA DIL BANAYA HOTA, TODNE WALE KE HAATHON ME ZAKHAM TO AAYA HOTA .. Na salaam yaad rakhna Na paigaam yaad rakhna Ho sake to zindagi me Hamara naam yaad rakhna.....

Hatha me hath milake, Hatha me hath milake, anguthi churake chali gayi, abhi gale milne ko aari, kya karati ki kya ki…… chay pine ko aake, chay pine ko aake, soccer churake chali gayi, abhi full meals ko aari, kya karati ki kya ki…….. pahalich mulakat me , pahalich mulakat me , five star me chuna lagai, abhi date pe leke jao bolari, kya karati ki kya ki………. sagai sagai bolake, sagai saagi bolake, puri shopping karali, abhi shadi shadi bolari kya karati ki kya ki…….

Subject: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq? Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq? A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction. Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction. A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them. Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq? A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections. Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we? A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election. Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction? A: To use them in a war, silly. Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them? A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves. Q: T...

A Nice Article about Love I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love." This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you . For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings. Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand. It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that m...

Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply. Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned. Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips. Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart. Prof. of Chemistry: Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts. Prof. of Zoology: Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria. Prof. of Physiology: Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction. Prof. of Dentistry: Kiss is infectious and antiseptic. Prof. of Statistics: Kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36. Prof. of Philosophy: Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old. Prof. of English: Kiss is a noun that is used as aconjunction; it is more common than proper; ...

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give t...

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. --David Bissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. --Sacha Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. --Hemant Joshi By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. --Dumas The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? --Sigmund Freud I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -Anonymous "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." --Henny Youngman "I...

ITS AMAZING..... !!!!! Instructions: What you do is find out what each letter of your name means. Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (Its TRUE!!) (Isn't it GREAT!!) Note: If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once. ----------------------- A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind. B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people. C - You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it. D - You have trouble trusting people. E - You are a very exciting person. F - Everyone loves you. G - You have excellent ways of viewing people. H - You are not judgmental. I - You are always smiling and making others smile. J - You like to argue with your friends. K - You like to try new things. L - Love is something you deeply believe in. M - Success comes easily to you. N - You like to work, but you always want a break. O - You are very open-minded. P - You are very friendly and understanding. Q - You ar...