By all Means... MARRY!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. --David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. --Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. --Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. --Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? --Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." --Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." --Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." --James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." --Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. --Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... --Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. --Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. --Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. --Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." --Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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