Collection of My Favourite Forwarded Mails

Sekar (Calling his family from Amsterdam): Good Evening Mom and Dad. Where is my wife Sheela? Dad: Just now I called her. She is on the way to home after taking our grandson Rahul from his school. Sekar : Let us wait for her few minutes and we will start this discussion.  (By the time Sheela entered in to the house.. Sekar continue the meeting) I hope you know the Agenda of the meeting which I had mentioned in the meeting request. Even though let me read out the agenda once again 1. Status update/Discussion on Last Week Action Items 2. Family Strategy 2. Rahul’s Education 3. Medical Insurance for Mom and Dad I hope every one have the printout of last week MOM (Minutes of Meeting). Dear Mom can you please update the status of tasks which you are taking care of? Mom: Sekar, I am taking care of kitchen module which involves making products like Sambar, Rasam, Curd Rice, Vegetable Biriyani.I am not comfortable in handling the tools for making Non Vegetarian produ...

Dear Mr. Prime minister I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that. Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India. Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, dest...

We're poor. We're illiterate. We're still traditional. Too many religions, too many languages, too many ethnicities. What do we have that the extremists repeatedly make us the target of their terrorism? Those very things - poverty, illiteracy, tradition, multiple religions, ethnicities and languages. Not because they are a fertile breeding ground for radical recruits but because India is finding workable, affordable and replicable solutions which will help it overcome the same problems. Those solutions are being emulated by emerging societies across the world, giving them hope for their own futures. That is why India's unexpected rise is threatening to those forces that work in the darkness of despair. Socially, politically and economically, India sits between two extremes: the West and China. The models of the western world are too developed to be easily adapted - 50 years of aid has not been effective. China is autocratic, its top-down growth delivered by an appointed...

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well. Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; Who is earning almost as much as you do; One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are; One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements  One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;  One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name  One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen  One, who is expected to mak...

Dad used to give us a measly Rs. 500/- per month,  in that we were not only able to eat stomachs fill,  but we were able to save too!!!  Now we earn a sum of 20K+, we have no idea  where it goes, let alone saving it!!  Which was better, the former or the latter???  6 subjects per year, 6 different teachers!  One project since we joined  and just one manager!!  Which was better, the former or the latter???  We used to make notes;  we used to study for ranks!!  Now we scan thru our mails;  we struggle for our ratings!!!  Which was better, the former or the latter???  We have still not forgotten the people  in the next section!!!  Now we don't even know who sits  in the next cubicle!!!  Which was better, the former or the latter???  After getting back from a tiring play,  we used to do our home work!!  Now who knows/cares about home;  all we do is just work!!!  Which was better, the former or the latter???  We knew our history and economics!!  Now let alone reading books,  we don'...

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day" - makes my day. I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did w...

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady. During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.   "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy. 2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was sta...

When Gulli-Danda & Kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket. When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy), chhepan-chhepai & pitthoo anytime ... When we desperately waited for 'Yeh Jo Hai Jindagi ' (Doordarshan serial) When chitrahaar , vikram-baitaal , Dada Daadi Ki Kahaniyaan were so fulfilling. When there was just one Tv in every five houses and... When Bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if papas will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting down at stations to fill up the water bottle ... When we were going to bed by 9.00pm sharp except for the 'Yeh Jo Hai Jindagi ' day .. When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans and sweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them ... When Maths teachers were not worried of our Mummies and papas while slapping/beating us .. When we were exchanging comics and stamps and Chacha-Chaudaris & Billus were our heroes .. When we were in Nani...

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2008. Because of your kindness: I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains. I stopped eating apples for fear that it might have been cut by a fruit-seller having an open wound on his hands & is suffering from AIDS. I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer. I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo . I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick from the rat shit and urine. When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice. I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that w...

In, was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met Socrates, the great philosopher of ancient Greece, and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?" "Hold on a minute," Socrates replied.. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test." " Triple filter?" "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test." "The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..." 'All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of GOODNESS. Is what you are abou...

Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey "? To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this… There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog। One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake। The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason. Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own" Now take a new look at the same story… The washer man was a well ...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Australian Prime Minister John Howard's clock?" asked the man. "Howard's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller: I am Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter!You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Ree. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for £10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at £10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at £20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to £25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at £50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell th...

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?' God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live. Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, make-up and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded. 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?' God replied 'I didn't recognise you!'

Q. What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A. A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the Judge.

A man called home to his wife and said, " Julie love, I have been asked to go fishing up in the Lake District with my boss & several of his friends । We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box. We're leaving from the office & I'll swing by the house to pick up my things - Oh! and please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. " The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good। The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! We fished two or three lakes and I caught lots of rainbow trout. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you ?" The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..." NEVER lie to a wom...

An old man lived alone in Chennai. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son andmentioned his situation: Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison. .............................Love, Dad Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!" At 4 a.m. the next morning, A dozen CBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened...

The various types of Signatures you come across & the attitude of a person are listed below: # SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN!! These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life" # TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN!! These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fiancées as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others. # SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN! These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people. # NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN!! These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too. # RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME...

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenory outside.. " See dad, the scenory of green trees moving away is very beautiful" This behaviour from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son."This guy seems to be a krack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife. Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travellers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .." Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit. Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and dont di...