Collection of My Favourite Forwarded Mails

Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey "? To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this… There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog। One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake। The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason. Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own" Now take a new look at the same story… The washer man was a well ...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Australian Prime Minister John Howard's clock?" asked the man. "Howard's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller: I am Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter!You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Ree. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for £10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at £10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at £20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to £25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at £50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell th...

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?' God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live. Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, make-up and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded. 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?' God replied 'I didn't recognise you!'

Q. What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A. A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the Judge.

A man called home to his wife and said, " Julie love, I have been asked to go fishing up in the Lake District with my boss & several of his friends । We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box. We're leaving from the office & I'll swing by the house to pick up my things - Oh! and please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. " The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good। The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! We fished two or three lakes and I caught lots of rainbow trout. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you ?" The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..." NEVER lie to a wom...