Collection of My Favourite Forwarded Mails

S he was dying. Her life was measured not in years…or months…but in weeks and days. She called the minister to her home to make her final preparations. As they talked of her funeral, she listed the scriptures she wanted read and the hymns she wanted sung. The lady said to the minister, ”When I’m placed in my casket I want you to put a fork in my hand.” Noticing the puzzled look on the minister’s face, she asked if anything was wrong. ”Oh, no,” he replied, ”but it’s the first time anyone has made such an unusual request.” So the lady began to explain. ”All my life I have attended church dinners and fellowships. Whenever we finished the meal, someone would come to collect the dishes and say, ‘Keep your fork.’ I knew what this meant. The best was yet to come. There would be apple pie or chocolate cake or some other delicacy. And I know for me, the best is yet to come. My death is not a time of sadness but of celebration. So I want to have a fork put in my hand. You can tell the ...

Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is "average".  Kumar: What? How come 'average'?  Big Boss: Because...err. ..uhh...you lack domain knowledge.  Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.  Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.  Kumar: What???  Big Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.  Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.  Big Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything.  Kumar: Huh? *Confused*  Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.  Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business Communication" , you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?  Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well. .I...

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.  Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology. Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had  never heard of this college before!  Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..  What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – “I can not invest so much of money”.(The baap actually said – “I will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya. Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.  Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, t...

Let's say it's 6..15p m and you're going home (alone of  course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You're really tired, upset and frustrated... Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your  chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the  hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't  know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have  been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the  course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart  attack, without help,the person whose heart is beating  improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only  about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However,these victims can help themselves by coughing  repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should  be taken before each cough, and the cough must be de...

Trust is an inner eye. Just as the two outer eyes are for seeing the universe, there is a third eye inside of you whose name is trust. With this eye of trust the divine is seen. The eye of trust means the eye of love. There are some things which only love can know. There is no other way to know them.  If you love someone you will see certain things in the person that no one else will see. You will see in that person a sweetness that no one else can see. That sweetness is delicate and the touch of love is needed for it, only then is it revealed. You will hear the echo of a song in that person that no one else will hear. To hear it one has to come closer than anyone else has come. Only you are that close.  This is why beauty begins to manifest in the person whom you love. The one you fall in love with begins to be beautiful – all of life’s grandeur, all of its dignity is revealed in the person. And it is not that you are imagining it.  As soon as the eye of love op...

He/She Who Knows Not, And Knows Not, That He /She  Knows Not, Is A Fool - Ignore Him/Her. He /She  Who Knows Not, And Knows That, He /She  Knows Not, Is Ignorant - Teach Him /Her . He /She  Who Knows, But Knows Not, That He /She  Knows, Is Asleep - Awake Him /Her , He /She  Who Knows, And Knows That, He /She  Knows, Is Wise - Follow Him /Her .

Love - About 2,110,000,000 results (0.17 seconds)  Hate - About 183,000,000 results (0.23 seconds)  Happy - About 443,000,000 results (0.18 seconds)  Sad - About 174,000,000 results (0.26 seconds)  Sex - About 542,000,000 results (0.17 seconds)  Smile - About 229,000,000 results (0.12 seconds)  Friends - About 1,070,000,000 results (0.15 seconds)  War - About 663,000,000 results (0.16 seconds)  Charity - About 350,000,000 results (0.25 seconds)  Women - About 1,230,000,000 results (0.24 seconds)  Men - About 3,770,000,000 results (0.20 seconds)  Family - About 5,330,000,000 results (0.14 seconds)  Email - About 9,820,000,000 results (0.14 seconds)  Internet - About 1,040,000,000 results (0.18 seconds)  Mobile - About 5,750,000,000 results (0.20 seconds)  Movies - About 1,070,000,000 results (0.13 seconds)  Music - About 2,690,000,000 results (0.18 seconds)  School - About 5,620,000,000 ...

It is as critical to allow yourself to feel and learn from negative emotions as it is to revel in positive feelings Vinita Dawra Nangia TIMES NEWS NETWORK  ONE of the most reassuring things I have heard in recent times is that it’s okay to be scared; you do not require courage to face what you do not fear. It’s a comforting thought that even the most courageous men and women were scared of that which they ultimately faced and conquered. They are heroes not because their hearts never trembled with fear, but because they conquered that fear. So, fear becomes not just an acceptable but even welcome emotion because it paves the way for courage and heroism. It is fine to be frightened, but not to run away from it.  When Greek King Odysseus is persuading hero of the Trojan War Achilles, to participate in the War in the movie Troy, he tells him, “You don’t fear anyone, that’s your problem. Sometimes fear is useful.”  As with fear, so with other ‘negative’ emotions....

Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, 'OK, dad, I'm ready.' His Pastor dad asked, 'Ready for what?' 'Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out...' Dad responds, 'Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain.' The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, 'But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?' Dad answers, 'Son, I am not going out in this weather.' Despondently, the boy asks, 'Dad, can I go? Please?' His father hesitated for a moment then said, 'Son, you can go. Here are the t...

Rajnikanth's punch dialogue in the upcoming 120 crore Tamil film Endhiran / Robot : “Buddy… if i beat you, even Google won’t be able to find you” Google is working on it to fix this bug…." It so happened that Rajani beat a guy named Bingo and Google is still searching for Bingo. Bingo was reported last seen near planet Pluto and no news after that. NASA has launched 2 rocket missions to search Bingo. Google staff has been issued a notice that if Google wont find Bingo by the end of the year then every one will be sacked.  Bingo's father filed a case against Rajni in the International court. Rajni publicly said that Bingo's father will be next guy whom we all have to search for. Not sure what will happen now...

. If you see children Begging anywhere in TAMIL NADU please contact "RED SOCIETY" 9940217816. They will help those children for their studies. 2. There is a Website: www.friendstosupport.org Where you can search for any BLOOD GROUP, you will get thousand's of Donor address. 3. Engineering Students can register in www.campuscouncil.com to Attend Off Campus for 40 Companies. 4. Free Education and Free hostel for Handicapped children..! Contact:- 9842062501 & 9894067506 5. If anyone met with fire accident or people born with problems in their ear, nose and mouth can get free PLASTIC SURGERY done by Kodaikanal PASAM Hospital . From 23rd March to 4th April by German Doctors. Everything is free. Contact : 045420-240668,245732 "Helping Hands are Better than Praying Lips" 6. If you find any important documents like Driving license, Ration card, Passport, Bank Pass Book, etc., Missed by someone, simply put Them into near by any Post Boxes. They will aut...

One good guy named A runs a cool news channel named C along with another good guy named B. Unfortunately A's son A+ makes friendship with some bad politicians named P+ and uses his father A's news channel C for advertising. A thinks that his son A+ is doing a great job and A encourages P+ on this channel C. But B investigates that P+ is a fraud and A+ is making loads of money and is using his father A's news channel C for advertising. B thinks that A has fallen completely in to his son A+’s plans and might not be interested in his investigation proofs. So B goes to another news channel named D thinking that at least they will make the investigation outcome live on their channel as channel D was always against the group of politicians P+. B meets channel D's owner Mr. E and hand over the Investigation proof. Mr. E praises B for his courage and asks him have a good sleep. But the same day Mr. E goes to P+ and sells the investigation proofs to P+ for huge cash. B wakes u...

A Nice story with a good moral. Please go through. A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, So the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates. So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week. Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.... The teacher asked: "...

The truth isn’t the truth until people believe you, and they can’t believe you if they don’t know what you’re saying, and they can’t know what you’re saying if they don’t listen to you, and they won’t listen to you if you’re not interesting, and you won’t be interesting unless you say things imaginatively, originally, freshly. - Bernbach’s paradigm"

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies? A: Puppies grow up. Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces? A: Because they are... Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles? A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever. Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first? A: Who cares?????..... Q: What did God say after he created man? A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!. Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ? A: I don't know, I've never seen either. Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? A: i) no mind ii) no business Q: What is the difference between men and pigs? A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink... Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving. Q: What do yo...